In the popular movie Top Gun, the heroine played by Meg Ryan screams at her husband: “Put me to bed or I’ll lose you”.
“It’s a cute, lovable, flirty and irresistible line. It conveys the message that it’s time for them to go to bed together,” said psychology doctor Michelle Drouin, professor at Purdue University in Fort Wayne, state of Indiana (USA) identified.
According to Drouin, going to bed at the same time is the act of strengthening the connection between the couple. At night, when they are no longer hindered by their children and work, they can completely relax, talk and touch each other.
“Just being in the bedroom together is very intimate,” said the female expert. “In the novel Summer festivitiesErnest Hemingway describes a couple lying together, reading books at night, with open windows and bright stars. He doesn’t mention sex or talk, but it still provokes the ultimate romance. “
Along with his colleague, Dr. Drouin surveyed 289 Americans who are married or living with their partners about their nightly habits and found that many people were disappointed that their other half did not go to bed with them. Without the habit of going to bed together, couples tend to be less physically intimate, thereby reducing relationship satisfaction in particular and life in general.
Going to bed at the same time is what couples should do together. “It doesn’t seem like a compromise. About 2-3 hours from bedtime to bedtime is a precious time you can spend all together,” said Dr. Drouin. Ten years ago, she and her husband agreed that they would go to bed at the same time, no matter what, except when one of them was on business. That means sometimes, they go to bed at 9 p.m. or one person brings their laptop to bed and the other sleeps next to them.
In addition to going to bed at the same time, Dr. Drouin suggests night habits that help improve the relationship of husband and wife such as watching movies together or having intimate conversations before bed.
The solution to a truly happy married life begins with the bedroom. However, Dr. Drouin noted that building the ideal night routine for both people is not simply X + Y + Z. Some couples want to have sex but other couples want to chat or watch movies with each other more. Ideally, start by asking your spouse what an ideal evening is like. From there, each couple can build new habits together.
Thu Nguyet (Follow Psychology Today)