Anger and happiness often coexist, but like two halves of an hourglass, the more one gets, the less the other.
When anger is controlled, people can think clearly, limit stress, and easily communicate with others because anger can “obscure” other emotions.
So when angry, please refer to these 4 statements to cultivate the mind.
1. Not worth the attention
Greek writer Aesop once said: “People need to be gracious, not to get too angry, because anger often produces great disasters”.
In the last century, there was a famous billiards competition in New York, USA. The seeded hand Louis Fox is on the muscle of his opponent, just maintaining a stable spirit can win the championship. However, a small incident changed the situation.
A fly accidentally landed on a billiard ball, Louis Fox didn’t care at first. He waved the fly with his hand and bent down to get ready to polish. But the fly landed on the cue ball and then hovered around Louis teasingly, the audience saw that everyone laughed. The muscle arm blushed in embarrassment, angrily swinging the stick at the fly. As a result, this shot was accidentally hit by the cue ball. According to the rules of the game, Louis hit the ball and the shot failed. Grabbing the opportunity, the opponent won better results and in the end Louis Fox was the loser. He cursed, smashed his bat and angrily walked off the field.
Everyone watching sighed: Louis Fox lost because of a fly. But a fly or a contest, which one is more important? Although the fly was troubling, this muscle couldn’t control its emotions. Anger made him lose his original peace. Cheerful, a precious opportunity destroyed by a fit of anger. That is a trivial matter, why be angry? Indeed it is not worth it.
2. Don’t be too judgmental
When we are angry, we not only lose a game, but also lose many opportunities and other happiness.
My friend Sasha got divorced after just 6 months living together. The crux of the divorce stems from the “laundry incident”. She used a decorative cover to cover the washing machine, but the husband protested for “Inconvenience” and removed it immediately. Sasha got angry, covered the washing machine with the cover again, and they started quarreling. Other times she collects clothes on the balcony and hangs them on the clothesline, but her husband puts them away because it doesn’t look neat. Sasha shouted “It’s inconvenient to put it away”. Nobody gave up and they constantly argued. Just like that 6 months after the wedding, they broke up with the reason “Not suitable”.
When different points of view are different, one side does not accept softness, the other side does not give in but competes with each other, inevitably, from a small friction can create a big conflict. In fact, in any good relationship there is a need to have someone who gives in. With the person you love, find ways to “win the battle”, the love will also fade.
3. It’s okay
The famous Chinese writer Luong Food Thu once said: “When the blood is boiling, the mind is not alert, words and deeds are easily exceeded, not suitable for people”. We can meet such people in everyday life, they can get upset and angry just because of the little things. Not even when they saw the pathetic enemy they gave up.
In that company, the boss is notoriously strict. There is a new assistant in the company, often because of a trivial matter that is criticized mercilessly by the boss. In order not to anger the boss, what this new assistant does is also very cautious. But once, he accidentally got into a big mistake, causing serious damage to the company. He knew that this time he would be fired, so he actively resigned. But this time, the boss calmly listened to him, then gave his resignation to return, not blaming a sentence but only telling him “It’s okay, need to try”, even communicating with a big project.
Years later, the assistant became a powerful arm for the company, the two of them discussed the past, the new boss explained: “The reason I’m strict with small things is because you will often ignore it, If it becomes a habit, if you are not careful, a small thing will cause great damage. But in a big deal, everyone knows they make a mistake, they will remember the lesson “.
Anger is an instinct, but restraint is a possibility. There is a saying: “Stop the anger for a while, avoid the worry of a hundred days”. Remember, if you’re right, you don’t have to be angry. If you’re wrong, you don’t have the right to get angry. The wide road is not equal to the broad mind, the good destiny is not equal to the good mind. The human mind is like a path, the more calculating, the more dead ends.
4. Let it go
A psychologist did an experiment: He asked the experimenter to write down the things that made them angry the first week, then put them in a carton. The second week, he checked with the experimental participants one after another and found that 90% of the incident did not make them angry anymore. He asked people to write the remaining 10% of the events that made them angry and then continue to put them in the carton. Two weeks later, everyone said that 10% of the things that once made them angry no longer cause problems and have the power to deal with them.
The ancient Roman philosopher Seneca once said: “The best cure for anger is procrastination.” He also said that, no matter how long the night, there will eventually be the light of dawn. No matter how long the winter is cold, spring will return, how much trouble will eventually pass.
If something really makes you uncomfortable, allow time to heal. It’s not worth living a lifetime in anger and then getting into trouble for yourself.
Article by writer Phi Yancheng (China).
Vy Trang (Follow Aboluowang)