“Do what you like”; “Live like today is the last day of your life” … are tips that can ruin the lives of others.
“Always support your husband, no matter what”
People with old-fashioned psychology often give this advice to young people, but never think about its consequences. When a family has one person working hard, making every penny, every dime, while the other spends all his money on uncertain businesses, it’s hard to call it a happy couple.
Making up your own decisions without listening to anyone, blaming your partner for all your troubles, and ignoring each other’s opinions are real signs of a toxic relationship.
“Don’t go to bed while you’re angry with your partner”
What if both of them continued their quarrel, just to find out who was right and who was wrong? You will feel more tired, angry, and confused. You may even want to “stab” your partner more. Ultimately, the negative emotions associated with insomnia can bring you more trouble. It’s best to go to bed to “cool off”.
“Do what you like”
Sociologists disagree with this advice. Work is not a way to be entertained, but rather a way to make money. What’s more, there’s a big difference between doing what you love for yourself and working for someone to get paid.
“Listen to your heart and follow your dreams”
This is very harmful advice. Psychologists have shown that many people cannot objectively judge their experiences. So, in some cases, it’s better to reduce your emotions and switch to rational thinking.
“Don’t think bad things”
“Calm down” or “You have no reason to be sad” are tips that teach you to suppress your emotions. Such people view fear, disappointment, and sadness as “bad emotions” and try to eliminate them.
When you feel sad, crying can be a good choice. Tears reduce stress, relieve pain, and help calm you down. In some situations, trying to think positively is just an attempt to avoid reality as well as lie to yourself.
“Don’t let that affect you”
The advice to stay silent and not to react will lead to a tolerant attitude towards bad behavior. In the long run, this can lead to impotence. Especially for children, after all the stressful situations a child has been through, they will begin to believe that they cannot control anything and will not even try to change every situation.
“Nothing is more important than family”
Don’t forget that there may also be harmful people in your family, for example those close to you who criticize, judge and try to control you. In such situations, it is not appropriate for you to put your family in the top position.
“Live like today is the last day of your life”
This rule is common in movies. In real life, however, this rule can lead to disaster, not to mention the moral responsibility that often doesn’t go hand in hand with this advice.
Thuy Linh (According to Brightside)