Persistence helps children succeed better than IQ

Children with perseverance believe their efforts will pay off, so they always work hard to achieve their goals, despite all obstacles.

After many years of working in the field of child psychology, Michele Borba, parenting expert and author of famous American books, finds perseverance to be the most effective soft skill in helping children children are more successful in life.

Studies also show that persistence is a bigger contributor to success than IQ, according to research by Angela L. Duckwork and Martin EP Seligman, University of Pennsylvania.

Experts suggest 9 ways parents can help children build perseverance.

1. Eliminate factors that discourage children

There are four factors that discourage children:

Tired: Protect your child’s ability to concentrate by following a regular bedtime routine. Turn off devices an hour before bedtime and leave them out of your child’s bedroom.

Worried: The pressure to succeed can be overwhelming for children. Show your children that your love does not depend on their achievements.

Evaluate your child based on achievement: Instill a growth mindset so your child understands that winning is not fixed. Praise your child for his efforts, not the results.

Set expectations above possibility: Setting expectations slightly above your child’s skill level can be stimulating and rewarding, but expectations that are too high can cause anxiety, while expectations that are too low can lead to boredom.

Persistent effort is a skill that helps children succeed more than IQ. Image: Inc

2. Teach your child that mistakes are opportunities for growth

Reminding your child of mistakes is not always a negative, but sometimes an opportunity for a better development. Accept your child’s mistake, saying: “It’s okay. The important thing is that you tried”.

You should also admit your mistakes. This will help your child realize that everyone makes mistakes and that success happens when you don’t let failure define you.

3. Break down tasks

Teaching your child to break big tasks into smaller, more manageable tasks will help them feel more confident each time they complete a task. If your child is overwhelmed by too many assignments, have her list them on a sticky note by difficulty or length. Then do the tasks one by one.

4. Celebrate the small wins

Repeated failure can destroy perseverance, but the smallest success can encourage children to keep going, so help them identify their small victories.

Example: Last time I spelled 6 words correctly, this time I got 8 words. When you work hard, you are making great progress.

5. Prolong concentration

If your child wants to give up an assignment, set a timer and put it in at a time that is appropriate for his or her attention span. Explain that just obey until the bell goes off. Then your child can take a break and reset the timer.

Encourage your child to see how many things he can get done before the bell rings to see he is succeeding. Over time, it will become easier to focus.

6. Rise up after failure

When kids give up, it may be because they can’t see a way out of a challenge. As a parent, acknowledge your child’s frustration and express that it’s normal. Try breathing exercises or resting. Then have your child return to the task. You can also try to see if something is standing in your way.

7. Praise the effort

Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck has found that when children are praised for their intelligence, they are less likely to persevere. But when they are praised for their effort, they are more motivated and work harder.

To prolong persistence, praise your child’s efforts, not grades. That: “You worked really hard”, not “You’re so smart”.

8. Stick to the slogan

Negative self-talk like “I can’t do it” or “I’m not smart enough” takes away persistence. Help your child choose a short, positive sentence to say to himself when he’s having a hard time. Remind your child to repeat the statement out loud several times over a few days until he can remember to use it himself.

9. Mom backs up so I can move forward

One of the top parenting rules is this: Never do something for your kids that they can do for themselves. Every time you correct your child or do it for him, you are making him dependent on you.

When you know your child can complete the task alone, take a step back. Allow your child to embrace that sense of success, as well as teach her to persevere.

Bao Nhien (Follow CNBC)


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