Even if the tests say otherwise – Omicron! Unfortunately, our year has started very positively


Just nine days old, this 2022, and six of them were crap. Because on Tuesday Omikron moved in with us: my wife and I are positive.

If we had at least been to a wild New Year’s Eve party, but we celebrated at home with the kids, toasted with no one and let no one in. My wife and I are also boosted, so we actually deserved the Karl Lauterbach diligence card. We wouldn’t even have taken a test if our boy hadn’t been to a friend’s house on Monday and he got symptoms.

So all off to the PCR check. The surprising result: woman positive, me positive. We were really shocked. Because we really weren’t careless. Then came the next results: son negative, daughter negative.

Where did we get infected?

Our jaws dropped. This now leads to the absurd situation that we wear masks at home so that we don’t infect the children. We eat at different times, sit in front of the television with masks and a distance, and otherwise spend the time puzzling over where we caught the crap.

Did I bring it in when I took the train to visit Grandma on Boxing Day? 800 kilometers in six overcrowded trains with zero controls of the 3-G rule? Or my wife doing the only grocery shopping between the holidays?

Actually, the virus could only have got through the chimney with Santa Claus. But then one of our quick tests should have recognized it! Out of curiosity, I’ve made another one: negative. Please? Another one the next day: negative. Another quick test: negative.


Three quick tests indicate: negative!  That's three times wrong

Three quick tests indicate: negative! That’s three times wrongPhoto: private


Even if the tests say something else: Omicron!  Unfortunately, our year has started very positively
Photo: BILD

Do you want it to be even more absurd? Only one of us has symptoms (fever, throat, head): our nine year old. And that’s totally negative. It’s so clumsy that you can only endure it with schnapps. But now the worst: We’re making January alcohol-free!

Conclusion: Don’t trust a quick test and never feel too sure. And don’t think that white wine is alcohol.

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