Writer Ha Thanh Phong (China) said that around women there are countless people who tell them how to be wives, mothers and bridesmaids, but no one has yet taught them how to become themselves.
Recently, a video of a woman surnamed 50 years old on the Chinese social network Douyin has earned 2 million likes in just a few days. The video content is that Ms. Vuong drives her own car to travel alone with the reason: “In the first half of her life, I live for my children, and the second half of my life must live for me”.
Ms. Vuong said that the couple often quarreled. “He’s stingy and stingy. If I borrow his car somewhere, I have to pay,” the woman said. Nearly 30 years since she was married, she has never received a penny from him. The husband even took his wife’s money to gamble, so the mother and daughter could only eat rice with white salt for many years.
Before, because of girls, this woman tried to endure. “Just fear that parents divorce later people will look at their children. But now that my daughter is grown up and married, I do not want to stay home at all,” Ms. Wang said and said every time she left the house. She found it easier to breathe. Ms. Wang’s story made many people feel sad. In fact, there are many women living like this.
There are too many difficulties in the first half of a woman’s life
A few days ago, I received a message from a friend, she wrote: “A woman’s life is really too much, no matter how bad life is, how bad a husband is, he must do it for his children.” .
After talking, I found out that your son is sick. The baby has a fever in the middle of the night these days, and she cannot sleep all night because she is alone. The next afternoon, when he was getting better, my friend rested on the sofa. When my husband came home from work, his wife had not cooked rice and scolded: “Staying at home all day, I don’t bother to cook, or wait for me to come home for sure”. Although your friend explains, the husband is still complaining about everything. Hearing my husband’s words, my friend was heartbroken: “Neither asking questions of my child, nor saying that my wife should rest a little to help relieve fatigue, he just takes care of himself”.
The friend said, really didn’t know what this life meant. She thought about divorce, but looked at her young son so she could not bear it. “Many people said I was shy, did not dare to end. But thinking about the child, he will face the divorce of parents. Then there is the division of children …”, the friend confused.
How many women like my friend cannot decisively free themselves? I suddenly remembered a recent question on the Q&A website Zhihu: “Why do women who are not happy and dare not get divorced?” The answer that many people agree with is: “Because they worry that this is not good for their children”.
As a result, many people are unable to live the way they want. Tolerance has worn away and then slowly “strangles” them. The famous Austrian psychologist Sigmund Freud once said: “Emotions that are not expressed will never disappear, they are only buried alive”. This patience, on the outside, seems to be peaceful, but in reality, the heart is already full of wounds.
More than a year ago, China was shaken when a 28-year-old woman in Fujian province took two six and three-year-old children to commit suicide. It is hard to imagine a mother’s despair in choosing to leave with her child. After the incident, it was found that Thach – the name of the woman – had a very difficult time.
Her husband is not at home all year, but Thach lives with his mother-in-law. In addition to taking care of her two children, she is also subject to bullying by her parents-in-law and the blame of her sister-in-law. Every day, she has to do household chores such as laundry, cooking. Mother-in-law also spread false rumors to defame his daughter-in-law. During the seven years of living together, Thach has suffered many words of personal attack, but she ignored it. What caused her to be crushed in the end came from her husband.
Without protecting his wife, the husband even appeared indifferent, even saying that, being a daughter-in-law, he must bear these things. Thach’s tolerance over and over again made her heart cold and eventually pushed this woman into a dead end.
“Sometimes I have to tell myself to be patient. But then realize that such tolerance only stifles me and makes me lose hope in life and the future,” Thach wrote in his diary before committing suicide.
After her death, many people confessed: “Being a woman is not easy”.
When it feels tough and bad, women can try other ways to get out of this mundane life and into the wider world.
Maybe meeting a few friends, walking together or going on a trip. I can freely do what I want, as long as I feel as happy as the woman surnamed at the beginning of the story. In the second half of your life, learn to be yourself and learn to love yourself.
After all, everyone’s life is very short. Remember, when we are facing the sun, darkness will disappear behind us and even night will still have stars shining …
Vy Trang (Follow sohu)